Lessons Learned

I have learned many life lessons in this wonderful class of ours and I will absolutely take these lessons with me to college, through my relationships, to marriage and to death. I will not silence myself when it comes to my sexuality, spirituality, or orientation. I will stand up for others and be an advocate for them when it comes to their own sexuality and being. Another important lesson that was stressed in this class was to always have a buddy when going out at night in college to avoid any bad occurrences of danger. I wish I was there that day, but apparently we learned that we should not care what people think right now because it “does not (insert profanity here) matter” said Mrs. Kennedy. In the long run it really matter how we feel with ourselves and whether or not we respect ourselves as a person. I for one have deeply appreciated these past eight week and have learned greatly from them.

Soul Mates

Ingrid Michaelson’s song “Take Me the Way I Am,” and The Moldy Peaches’ song “Anyone Else But You” are examples of something I want to experience in a committed relationship. I want to be accepted for who I am, how I was raised, for my beliefs and my ways of life. In “Lucky” by Jason Mraz, it says, “I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend.” Being with someone who will make you laugh, with whom you can be completely comfortable is a quality I would like to have in my committed relationship. “You Take My Troubles Away” by Rachael Yamagata & Dan Wilson is a couple sharing their struggles and their burdens with each other and caring for one another. I want to be able to help one another in our hard times but not necessarily depend on one another. “I Won’t Give Up on Us” by Jason Mraz exemplifies the characteristic of being able to grow together and become stronger. I would like to experience all of theses qualities in my future marriage. I do not believe in the quest for soul mates as described in the article. I believe that it is possible that everyone can be attracted to anyone despite one’s gender or one’s claim of sexuality. If soul mates were real, what are the chances that someone would find their soul mate out of the 7 billion people on the Earth? What if they were on the other side of the world? Then there is the possibility of them being in different generations, time periods, etc. The thought of there being one perfect match out there for everyone boggles my mind.

Changing Face of Marriage

My experience of the domestic church has been my best example of church. Both my moms have modeled to me how to be strong religious, Christian loving women. The strongest experience for me has been positive being from an unconventional family, I have learned what it mean to be tolerant and accepting of all diversity and true morality has come from making the best choices I can make out of respect and love for others. The only negative part I can think of is that this unconventional family, as a minority, is not always accepted. I believe a college degree will give my future partner or spouse and me a greater economic opportunity. With that will come more independence for both of us s well as a better ability to communicate both our needs and frustrations to each other. Hopefully our relationship will be stronger because of all of that. I plan on established a place where my children learn tolerance and respect for the differences in other and will embrace love and affection.

Marriage and the Vatican

The Second Vatican Council’s Constitution on the Church in the Modern World expresses “high esteem” for marriage and family life. Society and culture of today supports that as well but with an additional emphasis on sexual love and relationships. Fifty years ago I’m sure there was a population that did focus on the physical love but with the widespread media of today there is more accessibility to it today. The Second Vatican Council also speaks of the “lofty calling” of spouses and parents. This may give one the impression that one must be married to be a good parent, or a parent at all. There are many people today including single people and teenagers or couples out of wedlock who have children and they could be just as good parents as the next ones. Noted by Pope Benedict XVI, “Conjugal love is not a fleeting event, but the patient project of a lifetime… As such, it needs to be accompanied pastorally and supported in its problems and difficulties.” For example, marital love is a long time commitment, and not just moving from one partner to the next conveniently, which is what a lot of people do today. There’s much more cultural acceptance for divorce and multiple marriages that people believe that if a marriage doesn’t work out they can always try it again next time. Finally, the constitution states, “As spouses fulfill their conjugal and family obligations, they are penetrated with the spirit of Christ.” Some people these days are fine with not having children, even if they are with some one they love. There are also marriages that are purely platonic done out of companionship and perhaps tax reasons. All in all, there are still similarities as well as some changes that have taken place in the last fifty years.

Dating. What's the Point?

In my opinion, dating is not future practice for divorce. It is a way to develope a closer companionship with someone you feel diferently about than you do about your best friends. Dating is a way to test the waters with someone you have a slight or genuine interest in getting to know more romantically. Dating in modern day society has almost become a thing of the past sadly. The new thing these days is the hook-up culture where everyone just makes out and or sleeps with one another instead of taking the time and effort to develop a real relationship. Personally, I believe that the hook-up culture allows people to get to know each other really only physically well, and not emotionally or spiritually enough. Also, I can confidently say that I feel the hook-up culture is primarily based on external attractiveness. That's the initial draw to one another right? It's completely shallow and disappointing to know thats what lots of the outward passion that sparks initial hook-ups is based off of, physical appearance. Random hook-ups, one nights stands, booty calls, etc, are always leaving at least one or both of the parties involved left feeling lovesick/miserable/regretful. In reality, it's useless. Therefore it is actually the hook-up culture that is practicing for divorce because it doesn't allow us as people and as partners to develop the tools for retaining an emotionally stable relationship.

Gender and Dating Relationships

I agree with the reader’s thoughts about the article basically throwing women under the bus as the only person in the relationship to play into traditional expectations. Women are absolutely branded as the marriage seekers and those who want the perfect proposal and the perfect wedding. There’s also the fact that men do have the expectations to get a big ring and make a huge, wonderful proposal. In that way yes, many people do go along with the marriage traditions, although some don’t. Compared to my love story, both partners are women and therefore the proposal and the wedding will not be done in the traditional anyway!

💑 Sexuality

While reading the bishops article on sexuality, I got very frustrated. None of these themes in this article are new to me; I’ve had to sit through classes and conversations having to listen to people say how morally wrong some of the aspects of my life are. Although it is never directed toward me, when this topic is brought up, I feel discouraged. Not only was I born out of wedlock to two now separated lesbians, I am a product of artificial insemination. Sex is supposed to be between a woman and a man who are married and who intend to have a child.  This article is in favor of the creation of a child but opposed to the rest of these conditions in my life. In one sense, nothing can be changed because it is a religion that has been in existence for a long time. However in my opinion, there are many things that could be more readily accepted that are now in modern society. 

Mission Statement

Having experienced a great amount of pain in my life, I feel called to support others in their struggles. To be compassionate with those around me is something for which I have always strived. I was raised to listen without judgment and accept others for who they are. I respect those who articulate themselves and communicate their feelings with others; I will not deny those who ask me for help. To the best of my abilities, I will try to do what is right. I will make mistakes, and I will embrace those consequences and learn from them. I will perpetuate these feelings, these callings, and these ideas to my greatest potential.

Identity

Three specific factors that have affected my identity include my neighbor, the death of a close family friend and my trip to Haiti. My neighbor Baige was a close family friend of ours who helped raise me from the time I was six months old. Growing up, I would make daily trips three doors down from our house to visit her. She was imaginative and creative and she'd always have something up her sleeve when I visited her. Most importantly she was a fighter. She fought and won against breast cancer twice and even while she went through chemotherapy, she was always there for me with a smile and an embrace. It wasn’t until years later that she was diagnosed with stage four bone cancer. She fought for her last remaining months never lacking her lively, childlike spirit. It was she who taught me that everything in life is worth fight for.

Second of all, It was my other neighbor, Maryann, who taught me a valuable lesson and affected my identity, but not by her actions. She was a very emotionally distraught woman and three years ago she took her own life at the beginning of my freshmen year. Her actions were an example of what not to do when one is in trouble and needs help. Her absence has taught me that if I am in trouble, I must reach out and ask others who love me for help, even with the simplest things! I've learned to communicate with those around me and better articulate for myself.

My trip to Haiti this summer to the organization called to Haitian American Caucus absolutely affected my identity. I met these two little girls who were in fact sisters who went to summer camp at HAC. Their names were Madia, 7, and Shania, 12. For the week I was there, they taught me how to speak Creole. There was an incredible language barrier seeing as though neither of them spoke English. In that week, we spent alot of time together whether it was at the local store at night, or walking around the village with them, and even when fifty or so people went to the beach one day. I was sitting with each of them on the bus playing games and laughing, when Madia turns to me and says "Mwen renmen ou pase tet mwen." I asked one of my English students what she was saying to me. The translation was, "I love you, more than myself." I almost cried on the spot. The love these girls showed me in that week could last me a lifetime. This experience taught me that love is unconditional and without borders and that everyone is loved by many people around them. http://hac-haiti.org/node/1